Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Are relationships overrated?

Are relationships overrated?
State of mind when written: I listened to a few friends over the weekend who were retrospecting about how far off they were from their original goals because of relationship constraints. A couple of them actually felt more accomplished because of it. Ironically, they all still claimed to be happy even though a lesser majority were full of regret and slight remorse towards their partners.

Sometimes I believe as a society we have managed to overrate our self expectations and those of our partners when in a romantic relationship or marriage. Well, I’m in no clear authority to speak about marriage since I haven’t lived it, but I have had the luxury of living it through my friends and family.

Averagely, most relationships or unions are progressive and somewhat supportive and encouraging of the growth of each other. Or maybe this is largely due to the fact that the fear of what others might say actually forces them to encourage the other in their carrier and personal growth? Most people seem to want an already successful partner, but can’t seem to handle what it takes to either see them remain successful or become better. Sometimes the prize to be paid is directly tied in to the quality of time to be spent in that relationship. And for most people, that prize just seems too high to pay because the emotions begin to surpass reason over time.

Before you know it, couples stifle each other’s dreams. Maybe because they can’t even dream it for themselves and the fear that their partners could fail or become extremely successful overwhelms them. Even though most people dream of the luxuries and lifestyle changes that come with success, they are in reality more content with the mundane and will sometimes unknowing!

Of course, that is not to say that some people have gained stability and success in life largely because of the influence of a positive relationship.

Over all, I sometimes question what we actually expect of people when we elect to conjoin our destinies. Are people getting what they truly bargained for? Does agreeing to be with someone give us the right to influence or avert their path in life? Or perhaps it’s the discipline that someone else can actually influence our lives in one way or the other that allows us to willingly go into such relationships.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

For anyone who claims that their 'relationship'or 'partner' has kept them from reaching their goal in life...should give a second 'THOUGHT'to that relationship. As a society we are so caught up in 'who makes more money' but in a relationship/marriage...we shlould focus on supporting each other reagardless who makes more. I believe a relationship is a time to grow and having someone to encourage and motivate you to reach for the stars!(vice versa)
I am truly applaud and hope for anyone who is in realtionship and is afraid to 'take it to the next level b/c of their significant other'... should def. think twice!
J :)