I’ve been preparing….For U
To my future life partner, I want you to know that I have been preparing for you.
By diane Daiga 12/26/07
State of Mind when written:
For some time now, I have been praying for an expected ending! My heavens have opened up and I know all my requests are being answered in no predefined order. As I watch each request unfold, I rejoice, adjust and reposition myself in anticipation of the next one. While I await this new revelation, I capture my anticipation in this rhetoric.
Even though I may not know you yet, I have been preparing for the day we will meet.
Even though our paths may not have crossed yet, I am anticipating that day.
Sometimes I wonder if we would like ourselves when we first meet.
Sometimes I wonder if you are going to be warm and cordial or simply arrogant and snobbish.
Sometimes I wonder how long it would take us to recognize each other.
Sometimes I wonder where and how we will meet; by chance or by accident.
Either way, it would have to be predestined.
Sometimes I wonder how your smile will be, if they would reflect in your eyes.
Sometimes I wonder how strong or soft your voice would be!
Sometimes I just wonder and go to sleep smiling with anticipation.
And then there are times when I wonder, perhaps we may have already met.
Perhaps we couldn’t stand each other when we met.
Perhaps we were too oblivious and had other things in our minds.
Perhaps we had different expectations of what it would be like.
Perhaps we ended up being disappointed that it wasn’t what it thought out to be.
Perhaps my priorities were off course and you couldn’t reason with me.
Perhaps I wasn’t welcoming enough and you weren’t encouraging at all.
Perhaps you were too subtle and I was too expectant.
So what do we do now?
Do we pretend it never happened and start all over?
Do we just say to heck with it and keep on threading our different paths?
Or do we give it a second try and make it right?
And if indeed we’ve already met, then let’s stop the anxiety and reveal ourselves to one another.
I have been anticipating this for too long and now want my reality.
I think the time has come for us to journal the stories of our lives together.
I know now is the right time for us to share those special moments together.
Yes, it is time for us to create our traditions and get on with the rest of our lives.
I have written so many chapters already, but somewhere in the middle, you are missing.
I need you to help me complete that story book.
I need you to create that beautiful ending for us because it remains incomplete without you.
So my question to you is…
Aren’t you missing me too?
Can’t you tell the void is getting bigger with each passing day?
How can you not feel this when it’s so tangible?
Listen, I’ll need you to recount your thoughts when we finally recognize each other.
In any case, what I know now is that, when we meet or do meet again, it would be right.
The trumpets will sound and bells will ring in accord for our endless journeys would have found its destination.